Today I’m bored…….as bored as a pacifists pistol, as bored as a midget with a yoyo, as bored as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest !
The reason for this extreme nature ? It’s probably a combination of things, things that unless you actually stop and think about it, you will think “what’s boring about that ?” such as being in the same hotel week in week out, eating in the same room, roughly the same food, doing the same things with the same people, going to the same office (with the same people), wearing the same clothes (I have 6 work shirts, two suits and two pairs of trousers, and now only two pairs of shoes – and I don’t like one of those ! It’s the same out of work clothes, 3 pairs of shorts and umpteen t-shirts that are all roughly the same, but different colours).
Work has entered a new phase and you would have thought that wouldn’t be boring – but after being nagged to stay on programme, and even asked to speed up if I can, I have reached the translation and training aspects to discover that although I arrived 3 months after virtually everyone else, we are all waiting for translation and trainers……bloody genius !
So today I have, in an effort to keep myself busy, filled out two largely pointless “Benefits Tracker” spreadsheet required by the “Change Manager”, printed out my training programme after I coloured it in, made a file for everything to go into and made a Palm tree out of some old processes, some sticky backed plastic and a pair of Val’s old knickers (OK, I lied about the last two bits but I did make a tree……..) tomorrow I’m planning to colour it in and staple some processes to it so it looks like a process tree……… I also read every internet word on the Saints’s big win yesterday, and something about someone dying in an unfortunate accident with a Seal and a gun (I know they’re clever, but I’m still not convinced that they should be allowed to have guns…..)
I had the same lunch as I do five days a week, with the same biscuits with my tea in the afternoon, drove the same route home to the hotel, went to the same gym, used the same shower, put on the same clothes, went to the same restaurant and had roughly the same food with the same drink. I then came back to the same room and wrote in my blog…..same as usual.
I may have to practice my T’ai Chi “scales”……which are the same every day, or I can read the same book I’ve been reading for a year (I’m determined to finish it soon though so I can leave it somewhere for someone else to find and be trapped by !)
I could watch the telly but that all seems to be the same………or one of the films I have brought with me…….which I’ve seen already, or put my ipod on it’s new speaker thingy (which I’m jolly pleased with by the way) and listen to some music…..that I’ve already heard………
On the up side, if I felt like this at home I’d probably do something stupid, or spend money on something un-necessary, or drink too much, or go somewhere inappropriate – all of those are generally out of reach here (there’s a sand storm going on at the moment anyway……..). Actually, I've just looked at this again and can't understand what made me put in all the "ors" !
So whilst you’re reading this and thinking “I don’t know what he’s moaning about”, think about only having one room in the house, no take-away, no pub, no friends, no sausages or pork pie, no shops to wander to when you feel like it, no mates to pop out and see, no car to clean or lawn to mow, no endless choices to make when you wonder what to wear, a three hour time difference screwing every arrangement up, insomnia, a boring well paid job, no contact with God's country because there are endless weddings and Bank Holidays, out-of-sync weekends - so that you are off then they’re at work and vice versa…….the list goes on and on……probably
I have a long weekend in Dubai
And before you say anything, I’m sure none of this has anything to do with me not having had a cigar all day either ……………ALRIGHT !
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